Stress and the Power of “May be”

This month's reflection is written by my colleague, Amy Small, LICSW... Enjoy.

 

Stress and the Power of “May be”

                Stress is a part of life.  It can be helpful in protecting us from danger or pushing us to prepare for something new or difficult.  More often, though, we experience it as a negative burden in our lives.  Sometimes there is a low level ongoing that can go almost undetected because we are so used to it.  Other times, we feel overwhelmed by a big change or challenge.  Neither of these scenarios gives us a sense of wellbeing. 

Beyond feeling “stressed”, we may not realize it, but stress is taking a toll on our bodies too.  We are not built to withstand the constant experience of stress.  If our nervous system is in an ongoing state of alertness and activation, we are flooded with stress chemicals on a long-term basis.  This spells trouble for many of the systems in our bodies including the musculoskeletal, respiratory, cardiovascular, endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous and even reproductive systems!  (http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-body.aspx)

We can’t escape stress, so how do we deal with it?  The best-case scenario is that we would do what other animals do: experience the stress, get flooded with stress chemicals to help us respond to the stressor, and then return to a relaxed state and allow our bodies to recover physiologically.  When we feel that we don’t have the resources to cope with a stressor, that is often when stress becomes problematic.  This can lead to negative and overwhelming thoughts that keep stress alive in our minds and bodies.  We can support our bodies in managing stress in many ways such as deep breathing and exercise, but we can also support our minds.  I would like to share with you a story that I always enjoy that reminds me to be non-judgmental of my circumstances and to let go of the negative stories my mind likes to weave.      

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

I invite you to reflect on the thoughts that come up for you when you are met with stressful circumstances.  Notice the nature of those thoughts, the story they tell, and the effects they have.  Notice if you have an opportunity to say “May be” to yourself to keep stress at bay.  If you would like support shifting your relationship with stress, please reach out to your Kesher social worker.

Rose Murrin, LICSW, is the Kesher social worker at the synagogue.  Kesher is the congregational outreach program of Jewish Family Service of Rhode Island, funded by the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island, and currently active at Congregation Agudas Achim, Temple Torat Yisrael, Temple Emanu-El  and Congregation Beth Sholom.  Rose may be reached at rose@jfsri.org or 401-331-1244.